Smoke and Mirrors with the Bookstore Monkey Biz
HILLSBOROUGH
Community College
Ms. Larsen: A faculty member says that no other communication has appeared college-wide to her knowledge about this bookstore committee. Is this really number 2, or is that a deliberate mislead?
This email—the first, I infer—looks, I fear, as it were a cover up for what has happened on this project backstairs in the GK bunker in state-secret mode.
According to an email I received from
Public-information request: Give me a “yes” or “no” to the question of whether you made the attributed comment below about
If this indeed was your quote, you behaved in a vile manner indeed, one not worthy of a college administrator. You should resign or be fired.
Please, yes or no to my question about your saying the quote that Deepthroat attributed to you about Horwood and Muller.
lee drury de cesare
Sent me by mail by a GK Deepthroat:
Hi LLS BOROUGH
This past year, the administration has subtly pushed to eliminate hard-earned employees’
rights and benefits.
This past November, (If I gave you exact date/time/location my identity would be revealed; I would face immediate dismissal.)
I’ve been with
Back in 1999, Gwendolyn Stephenson. Sue Flaig and a bevy of managers, made up false charges against a
The lengths to which
Please post this letter on your blog for others to see.
/i’CC 44va MpiV
‘i ) ,ipibAf r,
Community CoIIegeH
Lee Drury De Cesare,
iL5
DISTRICT
ADMINISTRATIVE
OFFICES
Date:
To:
From:
Subject: Bookstore Review Process
As part of my efforts to keep you fully informed, I want to update you on the bookstore review process. As you are aware, the College is conducting a review of bookstore operations through a formal review process including a Request for Proposal (RFP), an invitation to companies to present the College with proposals for bookstore operations reflective of the 21st century. Which other century could it reflect? The 14th perhaps? Or is the meaning more subtle: that the process reflects
This process in no way guarantees that we will ultimately recommend that
bookstore operations move to a private vendor. The word I get is that it is a “done deal”; that it follows the usual management flimflam of GK to decide inside the bunker and then put on a PR out-story to bedazzle the proletariat. After reviewing proposals from outside firms, the College has the right to reject all proposals. Rather we believe the process will serve to clarify the best option for the College in terms of service and convenience to students, This redundant comma splits a compound object of a preposition. and financial benefits to the College.
I want to update you on the status of the current process.
The request for proposal (RFP #2403-07) was issued on
proposals from external vendors due on
The
if you wish to view these documents on site. The College’s bookstore was given a
longer period of time, until
A representative team of faculty, staff Standard English retains the final comma in items in a series. Check the current English departmental grammar book: it should reflect this rule.
The process requires that team members have access to computers so that proposal
evaluation software called eRFP, Redundant comma: “called eRFP” is a restrictive participial phrase. There are many kinds of proposal-evaluation software according to Google. may be used to assist in this work. The meeting is scheduled for Dale
Comment on the writing style: It is wordy, and flabby passive verbs pack it.
Book Store Team Members
Co-Chair, Elizabeth
Co-Chair, Steve Shields, Director Risk
Cindy Hewett, English for Academic Purposes Faculty, Dale
Steve Wall, English/Humanities Faculty,
Dr. Susan Miletta, Biology Faculty,
Dr. Emery
Virginia Perez, Financial Aid
Sandra Strobel, Academic Advisor,
Carol
Team Resource Persons (non-voting)
Mr. Darson Bullard, Auxiliary Services Officer
Ms.
Mr.
As with any formal, public purchasing process, our goal is to conduct a fair and open evaluation process. Therefore, team members were requested not to discuss specific proposals among themselves, Redundant comma: Don’t split compound adverbial prepositional phrases. or with vendors outside of team meetings, Redundant comma: “But” does not signal a contrasting element. “Not” does. but to participate with their colleagues in an open and deliberative setting. This This what? Vague pronoun reference does not preclude team members from seeking and hearing your Who is this “your”? input as the process moves forward.
You need semicolons or bullets with these items.
Department
ranking of outside vendor proposals based on written
Early February proposals only’ This fragment makes no sense.
Bookstore Review team conducts tours of other
Colleges, colleges’ bookstores? both self-operated and contracted
Mid to late February colon Selected vendors invited to provide formal, No comma: cumulative, not equal, adjectives oral presentations to the committee and open presentations to the College lower case community.
Early
Bookstore business plan,
provide formal, oral presentation for the committee and
open presentations to the Colle~ie community.
Mid-
President’s Cabinet
April 2007 President makes Recommendation to Board of
Trustees
Please contact a member of the Bookstore Review Team if you have questions or
concerns as the process moves forward. Thank you.
c: President Gwendolyn Stephenson
District Board of Trustees
This email confirms my expressed contention when I was still teaching at DM that the GK administration needs an on-site editor to clean up basic writing errors it stumbles into when its scholars manqué put words on a page. Error-festooned productions such as Ms. Larsen’s disgrace the college and mock the taxpayers who think they pay the bloated salaries of people who know enough to function at peak literacy in the academic world. The flagged Carsen errors are not esoteric: they are the kind that English teachers insist remedial-English students weed from their writing before advancing into freshman English.
If Ms. Larsen will give me the name of the outfit that granted her a baccalaureate, I will write the president and tell him that she has standing to sue the place for malpractice. People who can’t handle standard punctuation protocol should not get bachelor’s degrees even from diploma mills, a source of many administrators’ faux credentials.
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